It's been a long while since I posted here. Facebook is easy but I miss my blogg.....
Since I am no longer working at the 9-1-1 center I won't be posting anymore funny stories about calls that come in.
I am job hunting, put in lots of applications and receive lots of responses..... most are that I'm over qualified for positions such as cashier, house keeper..... not many openings for a gimped up retired firefighter! I do have a job lead that I am currently waiting to be called for an interview. Say a prayer for me!
Both my boys are now gone from the nest... the oldest is back from a tour in Iraq, thankfully all in one piece; the youngest is still going through training and will be stationed in Germany at the end of August. Folks are doing good, Mom is going to have surgery the middle of July.... She's had so many health issues the last 4 years or so I hope this is the end for a while.....
Hopefully I'll be back to post again soon........
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
No Tell Motel, Part II
9-1-1 What's your emergency?
Yeah, my husband had my mother's car stolen. The poooolice refused to take a report!
Ma'am, where did this happen?
He was over there
Ma'am where is over there?
You know, over by that No Tell Motel
Hold on one moment ma'am
I ask the police side of the room, "does anyone know why the officer's didn't file a report on that guy from the hotel?"
Yeah, he said that he didn't want one, he didn't want to his wife to find out that he was with a hooker.
Ma'am, I'm being told that your husband didn't want you to know he was with a hooker, she took the keys and money out of his wallet at the No Tell Motel, she then took your mother's car. Technically she didn't steal the car, it's unauthorized use.
The police side of the room is saying, "I can't believe she told her that! No she didn't!!!!!!
Her husband is on the phone too, I just find out as he says:
I weren't with no HO!!!
That ain't want he tol' me.
Ma'am, I took that call and he said that a hooker by the name of Lemon Head took his car. Ma'am can I send an officer out to make a report as this is your mother's car?
You damn straight I want an officer.
Yes ma'am, I've got the call in the computer we'll get an officer to you just as soon as we get one that is free. Good luck ma'am
Yeah, my husband had my mother's car stolen. The poooolice refused to take a report!
Ma'am, where did this happen?
He was over there
Ma'am where is over there?
You know, over by that No Tell Motel
Hold on one moment ma'am
I ask the police side of the room, "does anyone know why the officer's didn't file a report on that guy from the hotel?"
Yeah, he said that he didn't want one, he didn't want to his wife to find out that he was with a hooker.
Ma'am, I'm being told that your husband didn't want you to know he was with a hooker, she took the keys and money out of his wallet at the No Tell Motel, she then took your mother's car. Technically she didn't steal the car, it's unauthorized use.
The police side of the room is saying, "I can't believe she told her that! No she didn't!!!!!!
Her husband is on the phone too, I just find out as he says:
I weren't with no HO!!!
That ain't want he tol' me.
Ma'am, I took that call and he said that a hooker by the name of Lemon Head took his car. Ma'am can I send an officer out to make a report as this is your mother's car?
You damn straight I want an officer.
Yes ma'am, I've got the call in the computer we'll get an officer to you just as soon as we get one that is free. Good luck ma'am
Saturday, June 13, 2009
HO HO HO …. NO TELL MOTEL
You need to send the police ova here
Where is here?
To the no tell motel
Sir, why do you need an officer?
She don teal ma car
Who took your car?
She took the keys off the dresser and stole ma car
Who is she?
I don’t know, that woman
What room are you in sir?
124
What is the woman’s name that took your car sir?
Just send a car they kno who she is
Sir I really need her name….
I don kno her real name she go by Lemonhead
(do you have any idea just how hard it was not to laugh at the name Lemonhead!!!!)
She goes by Lemonhead
Ya
Sir, how long ago did Lemonhead take your car?
Well, it’s not ma car, it belongs to ma mother-in-law
What kind is it?
I wok up an Lemonhead and ma mom-in-laws car was gone, she done stole it!!! She done tok my wallet too…man tell them to hurry, I don cashed my check an it was all in ma wallet…..hurry up, man she gonna be so pissed!!! HURRY!!!!
Sir we have officers started that way, what kind of car is your mother-in-law’s car?
It’s blu, ya gotta hurry…ohman, ohman,ohman
Do you know the license plate number of the car.
AIN’T YOU LISTENING!!!! IT’S MA WIFE’S MOTHER’S CAR!!!!
Sir, no need to yell at me, we have officer’s enroute…. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Naw, just get a car over here fast.
Good luck sir.
So, what is the moral to this story? If you're married and you are going to pick up hookers in your mother-in-laws old blue car and go to the no tell motel right after you've cashed your paycheck hide the keys and wallet where the ho can't find them!!!
to be continued............................
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Where I iz !!!!
9-1-1 What's your emergency?
I nedz an offizer here
Where are you?
Yes
Where do you need an officer?
Where I iz
Where iz here?
Orange
Orange what? What is the house number?
Don't know...
(sheesh!) Do you live there?
yeah
You don't know your house number?
No
Okay, step outside and off your porch....... have you done that?
yeah
Now, turn around an look just below the roof, but above the door way, is there a number?
Yeah
Good, read me the numbers....
1...4...2...5
Alright, you live at 1425 Orange, is that north or south? ( hate asking all these questions to people who dont know where they live!!!)
What?
Why do you need an officer? (by now I'm 3 minutes into the call, a call shouldn't last more than 1-2 unless something like a robbery, home invasion, ect is going on)
'Cause I want this mot#%r f@*king bi!&h outa ma house!
What's going on?
She won't leave
We'll get an officer started that way....sir has anyone in the house been drinking tonight?
Ya, been smoking crack too.
Sir are there any weapons in the house?
Ya
Do you have any on you right now?
Ya
Sir, I need for you to go back in the house, put the weapon on the t.v.... are there children in the house?
Naw.
(thank god!)
Put the gun on the t.v. and then step outside and wait for an officer....
Okay....
Sir, have you put the gun on the t.v.?
ya
Are you back outside?
ya
Sir do you see our officers that have turned on to your street?
ya
Sir go talk to them, they know you have the gun in the house, DO NOT GO BACK IN UNTIL YOU HAVE TALKED TO THEM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
click.....
I nedz an offizer here
Where are you?
Yes
Where do you need an officer?
Where I iz
Where iz here?
Orange
Orange what? What is the house number?
Don't know...
(sheesh!) Do you live there?
yeah
You don't know your house number?
No
Okay, step outside and off your porch....... have you done that?
yeah
Now, turn around an look just below the roof, but above the door way, is there a number?
Yeah
Good, read me the numbers....
1...4...2...5
Alright, you live at 1425 Orange, is that north or south? ( hate asking all these questions to people who dont know where they live!!!)
What?
Why do you need an officer? (by now I'm 3 minutes into the call, a call shouldn't last more than 1-2 unless something like a robbery, home invasion, ect is going on)
'Cause I want this mot#%r f@*king bi!&h outa ma house!
What's going on?
She won't leave
We'll get an officer started that way....sir has anyone in the house been drinking tonight?
Ya, been smoking crack too.
Sir are there any weapons in the house?
Ya
Do you have any on you right now?
Ya
Sir, I need for you to go back in the house, put the weapon on the t.v.... are there children in the house?
Naw.
(thank god!)
Put the gun on the t.v. and then step outside and wait for an officer....
Okay....
Sir, have you put the gun on the t.v.?
ya
Are you back outside?
ya
Sir do you see our officers that have turned on to your street?
ya
Sir go talk to them, they know you have the gun in the house, DO NOT GO BACK IN UNTIL YOU HAVE TALKED TO THEM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
click.....
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Can you say "ouch"?!?!?
I returned to work today for the first time in nearly a week... Last Tuesday I had to go to the periodontist to have some areas in my mouth looked at. It seems that I grind my teeth (yeah like that's a big surprise! We've known that for a long time) and I am slowly a little at a time fracturing my lower jaw....and as it heals it pushes the bone fragments out through the gum. Yeah, like that only hurts a little..... it really hurt when the bone fragments are still attached and actually come through the gum and start really irritating the tongue....
This was fixed by grinding down the exposed bone, sending me home with an antibiotic and pain killers...... Not real happy as I will have to go back several times to have more areas taken care of....
The only word I have to say is, OOOUUUCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was fixed by grinding down the exposed bone, sending me home with an antibiotic and pain killers...... Not real happy as I will have to go back several times to have more areas taken care of....
The only word I have to say is, OOOUUUCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Out of Gas
911 what's your emergency?
yes, I'm out of gas.
You are out of gas? Are you in the middle of an intersection?
ummm no.
Where are you ma'am?
I'm on the off ramp from I-40 west bound.
Which exit ma'am?
John F. Kennedy exit.
Are you in the middle of the road?
No........
Ma'am, aside from being out of gas do you need an ambulance? an officer? (I'm trying to figure out why she called 9-1-1) Is your car on fire?
No!! (by now she's frustrated with my questions)
Ma'am if you don't have an emergency you don't need to call this number.
I need an officer! (she's now pissed at me)
Ma'am what do you need an officer for?
I need an officer to come and sit with my kids in the car while I walk to the gas station to get some gas.
(Moron) Ma'am what you are asking is for our officers to baby sit and we don't do that. Do you have a family member or perhaps a friend you could call to bring you some gas or sit with your children while you go get gas?
Well yes but I wanted an officer to sit with my kids.
Ma'am how old are your children?
9, 10,11
Ma'am do they have any physical/mental disabilities?
No....why?
Ma'am you need to hang up and call a family member or a friend or perhaps your roadside service to assist you.
Why? (you've got to be kidding me???!!!)
Ma'am you are now tying up my emergency line. Unless this is an emergecy you need to get off the line....
But it is an emergency!! I've run out of gas..
Ma'am, do you need an officer, besides to babysit, a fire truck, or an ambulance?
No,, I've run out of gas.
Ma'am, I'm sorry you've run out of gas but that is not an emergency as far as we are concerned.
You aren't being very nice! Let me talk to someone else.
Yes, ma'am hold please......(put her on hold... stood up and gave my supervisor the rundown of the conversation.)
This is John, I understand you've run out of gas. This is NOT our problem..... I've heard my operator trying to get you to understand that you are tying up an emergency line.
But I've run out of gas!
I see, do you have a gas can in your car?
Yes,
All your children can walk?
Yes
Get your gas can, then get your kids out of the car and walk to the gas station that is 300 yards to the north of you, get some gas then walk back to your car put it in and go about your day. Have a nice day, and don't call an emergency line when you don't have an emergency. (click)
Now it's not that we don't sympathize it's just that running out of gas isn't an emergency, perhaps to her but not us. Now while this was going on I was taking care of radio traffic (and computer info) for the fire department for a house fire, 2 car accidents, a shooting, and an assault victim. I was more than happy to turn this call over to my supervisor. He's a great guy, sounds ruff and mean but just a teddy bear under it all! He's more to the point than I am......
Guess the next time I run out of gas I'll call 9-1-1 and see if I can get an officer to come out and sit with my furbabies so I can walk to the gas station! LOL
yes, I'm out of gas.
You are out of gas? Are you in the middle of an intersection?
ummm no.
Where are you ma'am?
I'm on the off ramp from I-40 west bound.
Which exit ma'am?
John F. Kennedy exit.
Are you in the middle of the road?
No........
Ma'am, aside from being out of gas do you need an ambulance? an officer? (I'm trying to figure out why she called 9-1-1) Is your car on fire?
No!! (by now she's frustrated with my questions)
Ma'am if you don't have an emergency you don't need to call this number.
I need an officer! (she's now pissed at me)
Ma'am what do you need an officer for?
I need an officer to come and sit with my kids in the car while I walk to the gas station to get some gas.
(Moron) Ma'am what you are asking is for our officers to baby sit and we don't do that. Do you have a family member or perhaps a friend you could call to bring you some gas or sit with your children while you go get gas?
Well yes but I wanted an officer to sit with my kids.
Ma'am how old are your children?
9, 10,11
Ma'am do they have any physical/mental disabilities?
No....why?
Ma'am you need to hang up and call a family member or a friend or perhaps your roadside service to assist you.
Why? (you've got to be kidding me???!!!)
Ma'am you are now tying up my emergency line. Unless this is an emergecy you need to get off the line....
But it is an emergency!! I've run out of gas..
Ma'am, do you need an officer, besides to babysit, a fire truck, or an ambulance?
No,, I've run out of gas.
Ma'am, I'm sorry you've run out of gas but that is not an emergency as far as we are concerned.
You aren't being very nice! Let me talk to someone else.
Yes, ma'am hold please......(put her on hold... stood up and gave my supervisor the rundown of the conversation.)
This is John, I understand you've run out of gas. This is NOT our problem..... I've heard my operator trying to get you to understand that you are tying up an emergency line.
But I've run out of gas!
I see, do you have a gas can in your car?
Yes,
All your children can walk?
Yes
Get your gas can, then get your kids out of the car and walk to the gas station that is 300 yards to the north of you, get some gas then walk back to your car put it in and go about your day. Have a nice day, and don't call an emergency line when you don't have an emergency. (click)
Now it's not that we don't sympathize it's just that running out of gas isn't an emergency, perhaps to her but not us. Now while this was going on I was taking care of radio traffic (and computer info) for the fire department for a house fire, 2 car accidents, a shooting, and an assault victim. I was more than happy to turn this call over to my supervisor. He's a great guy, sounds ruff and mean but just a teddy bear under it all! He's more to the point than I am......
Guess the next time I run out of gas I'll call 9-1-1 and see if I can get an officer to come out and sit with my furbabies so I can walk to the gas station! LOL
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What's up?
I've been working ALOT....
It's rained so much, Daniel and I have been able to get the yard mowed in-between rain storms...
I took a puppy from one of the officers that removed several from a really bad situation in a horrible area of our city. The other puppy seemed to have broken ribs and a possible punctured lung....
Isn't she just adorable? Dad named her Tippy. Partly for the white tip on the end of her tail & the fact that when she walks she tends to tip over! LOL
All she wants to do is curl up with her big sis Joy. Joy isn't too over-joyed with the prospect having to cuddle up with the puppy.
Joy seems to be resigned to laying there with Tippy snuggled up next to her!
It's rained so much, Daniel and I have been able to get the yard mowed in-between rain storms...
I took a puppy from one of the officers that removed several from a really bad situation in a horrible area of our city. The other puppy seemed to have broken ribs and a possible punctured lung....
Isn't she just adorable? Dad named her Tippy. Partly for the white tip on the end of her tail & the fact that when she walks she tends to tip over! LOL
All she wants to do is curl up with her big sis Joy. Joy isn't too over-joyed with the prospect having to cuddle up with the puppy.
Joy seems to be resigned to laying there with Tippy snuggled up next to her!
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