No Tell Motel, Part II

9-1-1 What's your emergency?

Yeah, my husband had my mother's car stolen. The poooolice refused to take a report!

Ma'am, where did this happen?

He was over there

Ma'am where is over there?

You know, over by that No Tell Motel

Hold on one moment ma'am

I ask the police side of the room, "does anyone know why the officer's didn't file a report on that guy from the hotel?"

Yeah, he said that he didn't want one, he didn't want to his wife to find out that he was with a hooker.


Ma'am, I'm being told that your husband didn't want you to know he was with a hooker, she took the keys and money out of his wallet at the No Tell Motel, she then took your mother's car. Technically she didn't steal the car, it's unauthorized use.

The police side of the room is saying, "I can't believe she told her that! No she didn't!!!!!!

Her husband is on the phone too, I just find out as he says:

I weren't with no HO!!!

That ain't want he tol' me.

Ma'am, I took that call and he said that a hooker by the name of Lemon Head took his car. Ma'am can I send an officer out to make a report as this is your mother's car?

You damn straight I want an officer.

Yes ma'am, I've got the call in the computer we'll get an officer to you just as soon as we get one that is free. Good luck ma'am

HO HO HO …. NO TELL MOTEL

9-1-1 what’s your emergency?

You need to send the police ova here

Where is here?

To the no tell motel

Sir, why do you need an officer?

She don teal ma car

Who took your car?

She took the keys off the dresser and stole ma car

Who is she?

I don’t know, that woman

What room are you in sir?

124

What is the woman’s name that took your car sir?

Just send a car they kno who she is

Sir I really need her name….

I don kno her real name she go by Lemonhead

(do you have any idea just how hard it was not to laugh at the name Lemonhead!!!!)

She goes by Lemonhead

Ya

Sir, how long ago did Lemonhead take your car?

Well, it’s not ma car, it belongs to ma mother-in-law

What kind is it?

I wok up an Lemonhead and ma mom-in-laws car was gone, she done stole it!!! She done tok my wallet too…man tell them to hurry, I don cashed my check an it was all in ma wallet…..hurry up, man she gonna be so pissed!!! HURRY!!!!

Sir we have officers started that way, what kind of car is your mother-in-law’s car?

It’s blu, ya gotta hurry…ohman, ohman,ohman

Do you know the license plate number of the car.

AIN’T YOU LISTENING!!!! IT’S MA WIFE’S MOTHER’S CAR!!!!

Sir, no need to yell at me, we have officer’s enroute…. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Naw, just get a car over here fast.

Good luck sir.

So, what is the moral to this story? If you're married and you are going to pick up hookers in your mother-in-laws old blue car and go to the no tell motel right after you've cashed your paycheck hide the keys and wallet where the ho can't find them!!!

to be continued............................

Where I iz !!!!

9-1-1 What's your emergency?

I nedz an offizer here

Where are you?

Yes

Where do you need an officer?

Where I iz

Where iz here?

Orange

Orange what? What is the house number?

Don't know...

(sheesh!) Do you live there?

yeah

You don't know your house number?

No

Okay, step outside and off your porch....... have you done that?

yeah

Now, turn around an look just below the roof, but above the door way, is there a number?

Yeah

Good, read me the numbers....

1...4...2...5

Alright, you live at 1425 Orange, is that north or south? ( hate asking all these questions to people who dont know where they live!!!)

What?

Why do you need an officer? (by now I'm 3 minutes into the call, a call shouldn't last more than 1-2 unless something like a robbery, home invasion, ect is going on)

'Cause I want this mot#%r f@*king bi!&h outa ma house!

What's going on?

She won't leave

We'll get an officer started that way....sir has anyone in the house been drinking tonight?

Ya, been smoking crack too.

Sir are there any weapons in the house?

Ya

Do you have any on you right now?

Ya

Sir, I need for you to go back in the house, put the weapon on the t.v.... are there children in the house?

Naw.

(thank god!)

Put the gun on the t.v. and then step outside and wait for an officer....

Okay....

Sir, have you put the gun on the t.v.?

ya

Are you back outside?

ya

Sir do you see our officers that have turned on to your street?

ya

Sir go talk to them, they know you have the gun in the house, DO NOT GO BACK IN UNTIL YOU HAVE TALKED TO THEM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

click.....

Can you say "ouch"?!?!?

I returned to work today for the first time in nearly a week... Last Tuesday I had to go to the periodontist to have some areas in my mouth looked at. It seems that I grind my teeth (yeah like that's a big surprise! We've known that for a long time) and I am slowly a little at a time fracturing my lower jaw....and as it heals it pushes the bone fragments out through the gum. Yeah, like that only hurts a little..... it really hurt when the bone fragments are still attached and actually come through the gum and start really irritating the tongue....

This was fixed by grinding down the exposed bone, sending me home with an antibiotic and pain killers...... Not real happy as I will have to go back several times to have more areas taken care of....

The only word I have to say is, OOOUUUCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out of Gas

911 what's your emergency?
yes, I'm out of gas.

You are out of gas? Are you in the middle of an intersection?
ummm no.

Where are you ma'am?
I'm on the off ramp from I-40 west bound.

Which exit ma'am?
John F. Kennedy exit.

Are you in the middle of the road?
No........

Ma'am, aside from being out of gas do you need an ambulance? an officer? (I'm trying to figure out why she called 9-1-1) Is your car on fire?
No!! (by now she's frustrated with my questions)

Ma'am if you don't have an emergency you don't need to call this number.
I need an officer! (she's now pissed at me)

Ma'am what do you need an officer for?
I need an officer to come and sit with my kids in the car while I walk to the gas station to get some gas.

(Moron) Ma'am what you are asking is for our officers to baby sit and we don't do that. Do you have a family member or perhaps a friend you could call to bring you some gas or sit with your children while you go get gas?
Well yes but I wanted an officer to sit with my kids.

Ma'am how old are your children?
9, 10,11

Ma'am do they have any physical/mental disabilities?
No....why?

Ma'am you need to hang up and call a family member or a friend or perhaps your roadside service to assist you.
Why? (you've got to be kidding me???!!!)

Ma'am you are now tying up my emergency line. Unless this is an emergecy you need to get off the line....
But it is an emergency!! I've run out of gas..

Ma'am, do you need an officer, besides to babysit, a fire truck, or an ambulance?
No,, I've run out of gas.

Ma'am, I'm sorry you've run out of gas but that is not an emergency as far as we are concerned.
You aren't being very nice! Let me talk to someone else.

Yes, ma'am hold please......(put her on hold... stood up and gave my supervisor the rundown of the conversation.)
This is John, I understand you've run out of gas. This is NOT our problem..... I've heard my operator trying to get you to understand that you are tying up an emergency line.
But I've run out of gas!

I see, do you have a gas can in your car?
Yes,
All your children can walk?
Yes

Get your gas can, then get your kids out of the car and walk to the gas station that is 300 yards to the north of you, get some gas then walk back to your car put it in and go about your day. Have a nice day, and don't call an emergency line when you don't have an emergency. (click)

Now it's not that we don't sympathize it's just that running out of gas isn't an emergency, perhaps to her but not us. Now while this was going on I was taking care of radio traffic (and computer info) for the fire department for a house fire, 2 car accidents, a shooting, and an assault victim. I was more than happy to turn this call over to my supervisor. He's a great guy, sounds ruff and mean but just a teddy bear under it all! He's more to the point than I am......

Guess the next time I run out of gas I'll call 9-1-1 and see if I can get an officer to come out and sit with my furbabies so I can walk to the gas station! LOL

What's up?

I've been working ALOT....

It's rained so much, Daniel and I have been able to get the yard mowed in-between rain storms...

I took a puppy from one of the officers that removed several from a really bad situation in a horrible area of our city. The other puppy seemed to have broken ribs and a possible punctured lung....


Isn't she just adorable? Dad named her Tippy. Partly for the white tip on the end of her tail & the fact that when she walks she tends to tip over! LOL

All she wants to do is curl up with her big sis Joy. Joy isn't too over-joyed with the prospect having to cuddle up with the puppy.

Joy seems to be resigned to laying there with Tippy snuggled up next to her!

This isn't an Emergency, But.....

9-1-1 What's your emergency?

Uuuhhh, I don't have an emergency.

(you don't have an emergency but you dialed 9-1-1??) What do you need?


Give me the number to the jail in Atlanta.

(WTF?!?!) Excuse me?

I want the number to the jail in Atlanta....

You dialed 9-1-1, an emergency line to ask for a number in GA?

Yeah, give me that number.....

No, you need to hang up and dial 1-4-1-1.

My phone doesn't dial that.....

I'm sorry but unless you have an emergency I will hang up.

I need that number!!!

Have a nice day (click)

Wild Life

9-1-1 What's your Emergency?

(woman panting on the other end of the phone) Yes, I'm on the River Trail by the Big Dam Bridge.

Is there a medical emergecy?

Uh no?

Do you need a police officer?

Well, no I don't think so.

What can I do for you?

Well, my name is Easily Grossed out. I'm in Burns Park on the River Trail...(heavy breathing, lots of panting)....riding my bike..................................

Do you have an emergency? (or did you just call me to tell me you are outside enjoying the beautiful day, sunshine and fresh air while I'm stuck inside this old nasty building breathing stale air?)

Well, not really....you see there is a deer on the trail......


What is the deer doing? (Is it sleeping? Playing poker with his friends?)

IT'S DEAD!!!!

Alright, we'll put a call into animal control tomorrow and have them pick it up. (it's Sunday)


No, you need to have them come out today. It looks like the deer has been here a couple of days.


I'm sorry but due to budget cuts animal control only comes out if an animal is being vicious.


Well that's just dumb.


I understand how you feel ma'am...


No you don't (at this point she's rested enough that she is no longer panting)....you see the turkey vultures are eating it.

I understand that you find that disturbing....


No you don't, I'm looking at it.


(well, then stop looking at it!!!!)


Yes ma'am I'm sure that it's very disturbing, I'll make sure that I put the call in personally tomorrow to animal control tomorrow morning as soon as they open....

Fine, I guess I'll just have to find a different route back to my car.

You have a nice bike ride ma'am....

3 Month Evaluation

Well, I did it!!! I've been at the new job for 3 months this past Sunday! I received my evaluation. On most of the criteria I was marked Outstanding, the rest was Satisfactory, mostly outstanding though....

I have to laugh though, I had been super stressed about this evaluation as those that know me know that many times my "edit" button is non-functioning....So I've really had to work on it...the best thing I've found has been to just be quiet when not on the phone...again very hard for me! LOL

Keep Nick in Your Prayers Please

Please keep my son Nick and his platoon in your prayers. His MRAP was hit with a road side bomb that had been placed under the road. Thankfully there were no fatalies. Nick has a grade/level (not sure which) concussion and facial injuries. He has been released from the field hospital, though his Sgt said he will be watched for side effects of the concussion for several days.

I did talk with Nick, he said that he was a nervous wreck...who wouldn't be. I'm just thankful he and his buddies are okay and safe. His wife is coming over tonight to have dinner with us....

Just pray he comes home in one piece....safely

Job Security

Yes, I have job security! I answer calls daily from IDIOTS!!!

911, what's your emergency?
uhhuh yeah I neeze the poleeze.
Okay, where do you need the police?
where I iz

Where is here?
on McCain Blvd
Where on McCain?
I'z goin to the Walz Mart
Why do you need the police?
See these men they be following me.
Why are they following you?
theys be trying to jump on me
Why?
I don'ts kno
Who are they?
one of em iz my girlfriends babys daddy.
What's his name?
don know...(mumbles something to someone)
Who are you talking to sir?
My girl.
Okay, please ask her what her babys daddy's name is.
Hey whoyababydaddy? (in the back ground,,,,I don no)
??????? She doesn't know the name of her baby's father?????Okay sir, please pull over somewhere and tell me where you are so I can send an officer...
k
Sir what is your name?
Johnny Be Stupid
What is your phone number sir?
501-555-1324
That isn't the number you're calling me from.
Naw, that mi homephoz.
Okay sir what phone number are you calling me from?
I'm callin on mi homeless phone
You're calling me on your HOMELESS phone?
yeah
You're calling on your HOMELESS phone? (laughter roaring in the com. center)
yeah
Sir have you pulled over yet?
yeah
Where are you?
Iz tole you I waz goin ta the walzmart.
What row are you on?
9
What color car are you in so the officer can find you?
Iz in a purple car
You are in a purple car, calling on your homeless phone?
yeah
Sir please stay in the car, put your flashers on to better help the officers find you. We'll get an officer started your way.
whaever (click)


See what I mean, idiots!!! LOL I've never heard of a homeless phone!!! I'll bet you haven't either! LOL Since I had his "homeless phone" number on my screen I didn't even bother trying to verify it, I was already having a hard time staying composed and not laughing along with everyone else over the homeless phone!

More stupidity to come in the future, each and every day is a new adventure! I get to laugh each and every day while at work, there is always something stupid going on....stay tuned for further adventures!

What we've been doing

Things have been busy busy busy around here since my last post. I started working as a public safety dispatcher aka 9-1-1 dispatcher. Nick came home from Iraq on leave, Nick bought a new truck, I bought a new truck. We adopted a new cat. The divorce isn't going so well.

I love my new job. I find that many of the calls are from really stupid people but I keep telling myself it's job security! LOL Kinda like the guy that was calling me on his homeless phone, being chased by his girlfriends baby's daddy. By the way, the girlfriend didn't know the name of her baby's daddy.

Nick was home on leave from Iraq for 2 weeks. He and Melissa had plans to get away for a few days by themselves but Melissa got really sick and was in the hospital for a number of days. She had a terrible kidney infection. Thankfully she got to the hospital when she did, much longer and she would have lost the kidney. She was home for several days before Nick had to return.

It was really good to see Nick, more of a relief I think. Just to see him and know that he's in one piece and in good health was wonderful. Nick called me late last week to give the good news that they are scheduled to be home sometime in June!!! Thank GOD!!!!!


Daniel had his final ROTC awards banquet last week. He opted to attend alone this year. I must admit that I was rather saddened by this. I think that perhaps he didn't want to feel like he had to choose between me and Alan to take or explain why he invited one and not the other. It actually broke my heart as Alan is turning the divorce that he wanted into something really nasty and he's drug Daniel into it by lying to him about me.

Daniel started school year as the Group Commander with the rank of Captain. Later was promoted to Major, then Lt. Colonel. Daniel received the Son's of the American Revolution award. The following is an explaination of the award. " JROTC cadets who are selected for having a high degree of merit with respect to leadership qualities, military bearing and general excellence. The recipients are selected by the Commanding Officer of the ROTC or JROTC unit." Daniel has also applied to the water park for the summer until he signs with the military.

Meet our newest family member. Her name is Boots. I took her in from a friend. This friend had several major changes in the household and Boots didn't adjust well. She is slowly adjusting to our busy loud animal filled household. She is just a doll, and believe it or not she's 2 years old....just a tiny thing.

I should be posting again, at least semi-regularly. I'm sure I will have stories to tell from some of the stupid calls we take. Though I will of course change the names and addresses to protect the stupid! LOL

Have a wonderful day, remember to thank God for all that you are blessed with. Love those around you and offer forgiveness to those who have wronged you.

Meet Hoss

This is Hoss. I adopted him from Maumelle Friends of the Animals. Petey has been so lonely since we moved. He used to hang out with the neighborhood cats before we moved out of Jacksonville. Where we live now he's not allowed out as we live too close to a major road.

Hoss does not enjoy being held. He's just not real happy in the photo with Daniel. He went to the vet today as Petey had an appointment (he has worms (I told Petey to stop eating those squirrels!!!) and an infected tooth), and he needed to be checked as well. Come Saturday we'll have had Hoss for 3 weeks. When he was weighed today he tipped the scales at 17 lbs, 13 oz!!!! And he's lost some weight!!! Petey was 11 lbs when I took him to the vet about 3 months ago, he's up to 14lbs, 2 oz!

Hoss and Petey have settled into a comfortable routine for them. They don't fight much anymore. They play some, Petey has first dibs on the can of cat food in the morning and Hoss cleans out the bowl when Petey's done! They enjoy sunning themselves on the dining room table in the late afternoon while watching the squirrels & birds eating from the feeders. If we need to find Hoss we can ALWAYS find him in the linen closet in the bathroom piled up on the clean towels! Though I bought a latch today so he will have to find a new place to sleep.

Hoss really seems to love Daniel. He will continually go in Daniel's room if he's in there and want petted. Though if Daniel picks him up, it's all over! Hoss likes pets and loving, but on his terms only! The above picture is the one and only time Hoss has laid on the couch and first time Petey laid near him. I know they are going to be good friends after they settle in together and have more time get used to each other. Petey is alot happier now that he has a buddy & Hoss has a forever home.


*****NOTE*****
A good friend of mine lost her beloved kitty to kidney failure. M-C was there when Radar was born and she still has Radar's momma. I know they will miss him alot. I am so sorry you lost Radar M-C, I know how hard it is to have to take a furbaby in. Be comforted that he's at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you. He was a sweet boy and will be missed. {{{Big Hugs}}}

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 2009

Where oh where did 2008 go? I know that we're all asking that question. I know that it was a busy year for all of us. Hopefully 2009 will be a happy and prosperous for all of us!

2008 was filled with a lot of bitter sweetness for me. Lots of different milestones happened in our home. A recap: Nicholas and Melissa went to his duty station in N.C. Mom, Dad & I went to N.C. to see Nick off to Iraq (due to schedule changes they were unable to stay until he left). Melissa came back to AR. I went as far as I can with my knee as far as treatment goes, at least for now. Alan asked for a divorce (I later found out he's been subscribing to on-line personal websites). I bought a house & Daniel and I moved out of our home of 8 years. I applied for a job as a public safety dispatcher. Daniel turned 18 years old. We celebrated Christmas without Nick for the first time. And without Melissa as spent it with her family.

In 2009 we'll all be another year older, we'll sort out things that need sorted. I'll hopefully find a job with health benefits (that I'll be losing with Alan divorcing me). Daniel will be graduating from high school and going off to the Navy (if his plans work out) and Nick will come home safe and sound from Iraq.

I'm looking forward to the year with trepidation and hope. I know that sounds weird. I know Alan and I will be divorced, though perhaps not completely un-entangled as we have 2 houses to sell. I'm looking forward to starting over and starting again.

Happy New Year and may you be blessed this year!